Resurrection

I had a dream last night.  It wasn't a nightmare, but I woke up feeling uneasy.  I stayed in bed a few extra minutes and thought about my dream . . . that's what I do when I need insight.

In the first part of the dream, my husband and I worked for a large, unknown corporation.  What I remember from the dream was the maddening difficulty of accomplishing anything in that company.  People would quit, I presumed because the tasks were difficult and also meaningless, and yet no one was willing to change the order of things.  There were outdated procedures and lots of obstacles to freedom and productive work.  But it continued.  Over and over again, day after mind-numbing day.

I'm not sure what to do with this dream except to think about how it relates to tomorrow (or today, if you are reading this via email subscription).  Resurrection Sunday.  If ever there was a day that upended the supposed order of things - getting rid of obstacles and the dull comfort of meaningless routines - well, this is the day.

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The second part of my dream involved the sport of field hockey.  I was playing it, enjoying it, and determined to try out for a team.  And then, in my dream, I remembered that field hockey practice involves lots of running.  And just like that, still in my dream, I lost my resolve.

Then I woke up. 

While I was puzzling over this part of the dream, I had a sudden flashback to my 8th grade year of junior high.  I played field hockey in 8th grade and I loved it.  I would even say I was good at it.  But something kept me from trying out for my high school team, and that something was running.  I figured I couldn't do the running that a high school coach would require and I was too scared to even try.  How funny, and quite amazing, that this snippet of my history should come fleeing out of the shadows of memory this morning.  It sort of washed over me that I'm standing at the exact same crossroads of that memory, except now I need to run for a 5K (one of my goals for the year) and not a field hockey team.  Back in eighth grade, I made a judgment call - a judgment of myself - based on fear.  This time, I need to make a different decision about who I am. 

I need a resurrection.

resurrection  [rez-uh-rek-shuhn]

the revival of something: a resurrection of an old story