Wednesday, April 30, 2014

What now?

We've made it through the Lenten period.  That means I've officially reached my blog-writing goal.

I thought when I came to this point I would have a clear sense of what comes next for writing and/or for this blog.  But I find that the future still looks fuzzy.  I think I need to free myself, at least for now, from the obligation of writing every week.  That may mean that I continue to post on here more frequently than I think I will (playing the piano happened that way - when I stopped lessons and practicing for recitals, I actually played more).  But it could also mean that I'll post infrequently.  I'm just not sure.  If you subscribe to the blog (see button at top right) you can receive an email with my most recent post, regardless of how frequently or infrequently I write.

If you are reading this, I do want to thank you for following along.  The whole point of this goal was to start writing again AND to start sharing my writing with other people.  I would love to have any feedback.  Was there a post that "stuck" with you?  Was there a post that frustrated you?  Would you be glad to see the blog continue?  It's not too late to contact me via email or by commenting here.  I'm always encouraged when someone takes the time to respond.


Since I'm already posting, I'll tack on something personal.  The last week or so, I've been feeling pretty discouraged about my daughter's progress toward walking.  She's so close, and yet it could be weeks or months until she finally decides to take a step.  I'm feeling really impatient.  Really tired of feeling like I need to keep pushing her toward the goal.  And afraid to share how discouraged I am because:  1) when I start comparing (always dangerous to do) this "problem" to what others are facing, it seems pretty insignificant; 2) I think I should have a better grip on my emotions, more patience, more steadfastness, etc. 

I'm afraid of judgment, pretty much.  And I question myself - should I be doing more, or perhaps less (just let go)?  Or is it really not about me, at all?  I wish I knew.  In the meantime, I wait.  Because, at the end of the day, that's the only option I have.

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